You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
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