I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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