how hairy? two words: wookie tits
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
