Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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