I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Threesome in a minivan. New low
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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