Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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