Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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