this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
