I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
