She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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