So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
