Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
