Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I love you. Go after that dick
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
