he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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