he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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