Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i wish my penis had a tongue
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
