it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
