Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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