idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
