I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
tell me about the fingering
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