sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I think I just sharted jello shots
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