youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
