So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
