I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
