She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
