I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
