the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Randomize
