I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
