i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
