Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
