Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
