$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
