I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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