There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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