i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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