my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
