Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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