I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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