Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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