You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
