I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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