I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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