his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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