he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
