I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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