lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Randomize
