i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
