What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
