JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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