break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
