And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
