Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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