i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
