so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize