Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
