sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
