Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
