I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
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