He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
