New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
