She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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