I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
