Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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