I must be too annoying 4 u.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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